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Latest Pinoy jokes Tula, Minsa’y Txt A Matter of SharingFeel free to post your text messages and SMS jokes here to share with friends and other users. Need more space for your jokes or blog? Please register here.
Pam S 6:21 pm on December 1, 2008 Permalink |
this is good. Cootext now using WP.
kim j 10:58 pm on December 1, 2008 Permalink |
boy-miss,pwede mag ligaw
girl-bakit? meron kang car, pajero, honda, SUV, 4×4, toyota, o jeep?
boy-ANO KA?! PARKING LOT??
Lynmanila 2:30 am on December 2, 2008 Permalink |
MARE1: Mare, pano mo napapauwi ng maaga ang Mr. mo?MARE2: Simple lang, tinitxt ko sya ng”SEX WILL DEFINITELY START AT 8 O’CLOCK, with or without u… hehehehe…
Pjtxt 7:56 am on December 4, 2008 Permalink |
*** The 10 commandments ***
anak: inay, anu po ba ang 10 commandments?
inay: anak yun ang mga sampung utos sa atin ng ating Diyos.
anak: ganun po?!?mabuti pa ang Diyos sampu lgn ang utos eh kayo po ang dami2x….
hahahaha…
Zeggie 7:57 am on December 4, 2008 Permalink |
*** mag ka apilyido ***
isang araw ng linggo nag deliver sa barangay masikot ang coca cola Van nang pabalik na nasagasaan ang kambing ni Teryo at tinakbuhan ng driver. Pagkaraan ng isang linggo nag deliver ang pepsi cola Van di nila alam inaabangan sila ni Teryo para pagbayarin.
Teryo: Kailangan nyo bayaran ang kambing ko na sinagasaan nyo noong linggo.
Driver: Sir hindi kami nag deliver noong linggo, baka coca cola yon
Teryo: ah basta bayaran nyo dahil mag ka apilyido kau mag pinsan din kau.
Hehehehehe….
Askad 8:06 am on December 4, 2008 Permalink |
roses are red,violets are blue
roses are red,violets are blue
when I flash the toilet,I remember you
Pjtxt 11:17 am on December 7, 2008 Permalink |
Ang friend, maraming definition. Pwedeng stuffed toys. Candles. Treasures. Et cetera! Pero alam mo kung ano ka para sa akin? KAHOY! At least… hindi plastik, di ba?
werzkie 1:32 pm on December 12, 2008 Permalink |
Sa isang hospital:
Pasyente: dok, gusto ko pong malaman kung anong sakit ko, ho! ho! ho! ho!
Doktor: sige, ubo pah.
Pasyente: HO! HO! HO! HO!
Doktor: ah, okay
Payente: ano po bang sakit ko dok?
Doktor: MAY UBO KA!!!!
kwinii 10:17 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Panu tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papaton sayo ? – Lego
kwinii 10:19 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
A naked girl rode on a taxi. Sabi nya “bat ganyan ka makatingin ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad.” Sabi ng driver, “Hindi iniisip ko lang kung san mu tinatago yung pangbayad mo.”
kwinii 10:21 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
pinaka gagong joke ..
isang araw nagkasalubong si lalake at si babae sa kanto ng retiro ..
ayun ok naman sila ..
kwinii 10:22 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Kunwari, ang pangalan mo, “Ikaw”, tapos ang pangalan ko ay “Ako”. Ang tanong, sino ang panget?? =)
kwinii 10:23 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Q: Anu ang ayaw isuot ni Goldilocks sa buhok nya ?
A: Red Ribbon
Hindi lahat ng kulot, salot. – Goldilocks.
kwinii 10:24 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Anak: tatay bili mo naman ako nang POPSIKOL
Tatay: anak POPSICLE hindi popsikol
Anak: tatay sakay tayo nang TRICYKOL
Tatay: hindi Tricykol, Tricycle
Tatay: Oh anak anong nangyari sayo
Anak: (nadapa umuwi nang umiiyak) hu hu hu tatay
tatay ang sakit nang BUKEL ko
kwinii 10:24 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Toto: Nay, nay! Anong ulam, inay? Nanay: Tingnan mo na lang sa ref, anak. Toto: Eh wala naman tayong refrigerator, inay, di ba? Nanay: Eh di wala tayong ulam!
kwinii 10:25 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Alam kong sa tingin mo, masaya ako! Pero bakit kayo ganyan?! Sa tuwing wala na kayong masabi, ako na lang ang ginagamit nyo! Pagod na pagod na ako sa pagngiti! – smiley. =)
Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate. =)
kwinii 10:28 am on December 17, 2008 Permalink |
Bush: Let’s help one another. Erap: Tayo’y magtulungan. Bush: Let’s strive together. Erap: Tayo’y magsikap. Bush: Because in union, there is strength! Erap: Dahil sa sibuyas, may titigas!
xenxa na mdme lhan tlga alam .. haha ! medeu corni nga lhan
Pjtxt 2:47 pm on December 18, 2008 Permalink |
During a sex session, girl tells her partner “ur like a cellphone!” He asks “Do I vibrate a lot?” She says “No. When u get into d tunnel, u lose ur signal!”
ryan 11:58 pm on December 19, 2008 Permalink |
im looking for a friend send me via sms +639293755903 thanks
KTW 10:27 pm on December 22, 2008 Permalink |
Very cool – KTW
mark z 12:23 am on December 23, 2008 Permalink |
USAPAN NG DALAWANG UNGAS
UNGAS1 KAY UNGAS2:HOY BAKIT MO HINUHUGASAN YANG INIDORO,LOKO 2X KA TALAGA! DI MO BA ALAM NA DYAN AKO NAINOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Txtmanila 2:10 pm on January 15, 2009 Permalink |
G.M.A. flying with her family in a plane…
GMA: wat if i throw a cheque 4 a million pesos out of the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?
MIKE: but my dear, y dont you throw 2 cheques of half a million each, and make 2 Filipinos happy?
LULI: y not throw 4 cheques for a quarter of a million each and make filipinos hAppy?
until finally, her grandchild blurts out:
“but grandma, y not simply trow urself out of the window and make millions of filipinos happy!!!
24 6:16 pm on February 2, 2009 Permalink |
–english lesson–
student1:anong english ng mabaho ang hininga?
student2:bad breath syempre!
student1:wrong ..dont talk..-0hehe ?????????
haha 12:05 pm on February 8, 2009 Permalink |
bakt pag comerxal ng palmolive, buhok pnapakta?
kapag colgate, ngipin pnapakta
bakt kapag comerxal ng modess ayaw ipakta?
UNFAIR…,UNFAIR…,DBA UNFAIRRRRR…,
BWAHAHA=]
Pinoyutakmental 4:26 pm on February 16, 2009 Permalink |
Weeeeh! Makangawit panga. Hahahaha! I like this site. Good luck! Tanggal ang homesick.
Dakota hughes 3:29 am on February 26, 2009 Permalink |
nice site who ever created this.
charlez 3:13 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
Chinese Names
Born during the night = Andy Lim
Born blind = Kenneth Sy
Born being swindled = Lino Co
Born while cooking = Nilo Toh
Born as 10th child = Sam Po
Born while being courted = Lily Gaw
Born fat = Bob Uy
Born little = Kathy Ting
Born different = Eva Yan
Born with porridge = Lino Gaw
Born looking for someone = Allen Sia
Born while counterfeiting = Faye King
Born during Sunday = Lyn Go
Born with malice = Mali Sia
Born angry with someone = Ally Tan
Born with picture = Lara Huan
Born with sweets = Ken Dy
Born undefined = Sam Ting
Born while taking a bath = Lily Go
Born not to take a bath = Dinah Lily Go
Born while buying = Bill Li
Born secretly = Tina Go
Born to pass flatus = Otto Tin
Born ugly = Kaw Yan
Born Normal = Nath Ting Wong
Born Abnormal = Sam Ting Wong
May reklamo ka? = Nath Ting
charlez 3:14 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
Boy: Nay, anong ulam?
Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref,
Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?
Nanay: O, e di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!
charlez 3:14 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
Caloy: Tay ,di ba sabi mo bibigyan mo ko ng P100 pag pumasa ako sa Math?
Tatay: Oo. Bakit, pumasa ka ba?
Caloy: Gud news, tay! Di ka na gagastos ng P100.
charlez 3:15 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
Kano (trying to speak Tagalog): Meg-kanow isang kilow mang-gow?
Tindero: One way.
Kano: Meg-kanow?
Tindero: I sed ONE WAY.
Kano: Aynowng ibig sabeyhin ng one way?
Tindero: Isang daan.
charlez 3:15 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
BF: Sunduin kita mamaya ha. Bubusina nalang ako pag nasa harap
nako ng bahay nyo.
GF: Cge. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo?
BF: Wala. Busina lang…
charlez 3:16 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
Junior: Nay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE.
Nanay: Hindi high cake, anak. HOT CAKE yun.
Junior: Ok nay, watever. Pahingi nalang ng barya.
Nanay: Sige, kumuha ka nalang dyan sa SOLDIER BAG ko.
charlez 3:17 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
LIFE’S CYCLE
3 to 8 yrs. old : Paramihan ng toys.
9 to 18 yrs. old : Pataasan ng grades.
19 to 25 yrs. old : Padamihan ng syota
26 to 35 yrs. old. Pagandahan ng asawa
36 to 45 yrs. old : .Palakihan ng income
46 to 55 yrs. old : Padamihan ng kabit.
56 and after : PADAMIHAN NG SAKIT!
synchromart 5:31 pm on March 1, 2009 Permalink |
I like this site..hav a very gud laugh..
charlez 9:09 pm on March 3, 2009 Permalink |
babae;hon sino si May Ann ?
lalake;hon yon yong kabayo kong pinustaan ko ..
babae; ahh , O.K
babae: oh, eto tumayaw kabayo mo ..!
charlez 9:23 pm on March 3, 2009 Permalink |
pasyente: Doc mag kano mag paganda ?
doktor: kung full slip , 250,000 lang …
pasyente: ahh mahal naman , wala ba diang mura ..
doktor : eto stupon 25 lang ………..
kimme 6:39 am on March 19, 2009 Permalink |
nice site.. luv iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!
PONYANG 8:11 pm on March 26, 2009 Permalink |
GALING TALAGA NIYO MAGISIP!!
nicenice 3:39 pm on April 4, 2009 Permalink |
ano ang sabi ni 1 sa 10?”pare ang lusog mg syota mo!”
” ” ” ” ” ” 8?”nagpapaseksi ka ba?ang higpit ng
belt mo!”
” ” ” ” 0 sa Q?”hindi pantay ang bigote mo!”
aus ba?
hahahahahah!!!hikhik!!
Jamƒong 10:11 pm on April 15, 2009 Permalink |
Dey
said
gurl’s
grow wen
dey wearing bra’s..
n dey
said boys
r growng up
wen removing
gurl’s bra..=)
hehehehe
Vicky 5:07 pm on May 9, 2009 Permalink |
Bakit daw ang utak nasa ulo at ang puso ay nasa dibdib??
Simple lang…
Panget kasi tingnan kapag in-love ka tapos tumitibok ang noo mo…
At ang laswa naman..
Kapag nag-iisip /nahihilo ka tapos hinihimas mo ang dede mo.. hehehehe…
Vicky 5:12 pm on May 9, 2009 Permalink |
When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive. Never try to give up on life. Why? Come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm ma-reach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka!!
Vicky 5:20 pm on May 9, 2009 Permalink |
English movies you should never translate in tagalog…
——————————————————————————–
1. black hawk down – ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. dead man’s chest – dodo ng patay
3. i know what you did last summer – uyy… aminin!
4. love, actually – sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. million dollar baby – 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate of the country) 6. the blair witch project – ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair
7. mary poppins – si mariang may putok
8. snakes on a plane – nag-ahasan sa ere
9. the postman always rings twice – ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging dalawang beses
10. sum of all fears – takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat
11. swordfish – talakitok
12. pretty woman – ganda ng lola mo
13. robin hood, men in tights – si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat
14. four weddings and a funeral – kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal, mamamatay ka rin
15. the good, the bad and the ugly – ako, ikaw, kayong lahat
16. harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone – adik si harry, tumira ng shabu
17. click – isang pindot ka lang
18. brokeback mountain – may nawasak sa likod ng bundok ng tralala /bumigay sa bundok
19. the day of the dead – ayaw tumayo (ng mga patay)
20. waterworld – basang-basa
21. there’s something about mary – may kwan sa ano ni maria
22. employee of the month – ang sipsip
23. resident evil – ang biyenan — hahaha!!!
24. kill bill – kilitiin sa bilbil
25. the grudge – lintik lang ang walang ganti
26. nightmare before christmas – binangungot sa noche buena
27. never been kissed – pangit kasi
28. gone in 60 seconds – 1 round, tulog
29. the fast and the furious – ang bitin, galit
30. too fast, too furious – kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit
31. dude, where’s my car – dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?
32. beauty and the beast – ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya
33. the lord of the rings – ang alahero
Vicky 5:25 pm on May 9, 2009 Permalink |
BF : babes, sinapak ko ung nakasalubong ko kanina! bad3p, sabihin ba naman na mukha akong magsasaka pag katabi kita!
GF : cnabi nya un? hihi.. (nagblush) wag kna magalit marangal naman ang magsasaka dba? bakit ba nya un nasabi?
BF : kc mukha ka daw kalabaw!
GF : aba teka, asan na yang punyetang yan?!… ^_^
Vicky 5:42 pm on May 9, 2009 Permalink |
Isang pretty girl ang umibig sa isang ugly boy… Sabi ng friend niya.. “Why him?”.. “Napanood mo na ba yung Beauty & the Beast… popogi rin cia..”, the girl replied… Reply ulit ng friend niya, “Tungok!! Napanood mo na ba yung Shrek papangit ka rin…”
hehe.. share q lahn za inyo